Carol and I were puzzled, lately, by a sudden increase in hate mail from unstable customers. Hate mail mostly just disturbs Carol but I receive it with a mix of horror, fascination and, er, mischief. In fact, I have to curb my urge to mischief because these folks usually have a short fuse and are sociopaths. When we see a pattern like this we sort of assume most of them are Monarch-programmed guided missiles aimed at us. Sometimes the person is just angry and fed up, though, and Carol and I will do what we can to help someone in that situation.
One of them, though, got to me last week--it was from a lawyer who
half-threatened to go after me in court in an anti-quackery
histrionics ploy. That email felt, to us, like a shot across our
bow by the parasitic order. They do telegraph their punches (excuse
the mixed metaphors), fortunately, which is how we easily made the
decision to take our biz on the road, ten years ago, when the
$#!+birds railroaded our main competitor into federal prison. The
poor schmuck probably could have avoided capture if he hadn't
succumbed to his lawyer's advice to fight them in court.
The $#!+birds are pretty lazy and won't likely pursue a moving
target. We can take it on the road again, any time. and if they
molest our distributors we'll sell plenty of zappers retail from
'various post offices'
For the past fifteen or so years, the 'alternative medicine'
demographic have been in a tizzie about N American and European
alleged legislation designed to put us all out of business. The
corporate order are so stupid that they even picked Hillary Clinton
to lead an impassioned campaign to make homeopathy unlawful
What we may be about to find out is that the corporate world order
can easily introduce Stalinist alleged legislation but they can't
really enforce it. This is an example of the Emperor's New
Clothes, of course. Carol and I have thrived on the black market
for ten years and we'll do what's needed (within the Real law) to
stay in biz. It's kind of fun--like playing Dodgeball. I stink at
chess but have been pretty good at turning the tables on our
corporate spook assailants (knock on wood).
Last year we stopped offering refunds when we started promoting
Andy's basic zapper to doubtful folks who emailed us. We tell them
all that we prefer to sell by referral and if they doubt the claims
made on our website they're well-advised to get a good, basic zapper
for $35 from Andy so they won't feel stung if they don't notice
dramatic results after using it.
I'm happy to say that most of these folks buy one of our Terminators
soon after they use Andy's. This strategy has kept the sociopaths at
bay until very recently. A lot of our zapper distributors have
started ordering these basic zappers, wholesale, from Auntie
CarolTwo Eagle, who can offer them for less than Andy can because
he pays a guy to assemble the zappers. If you're interested in
having some for seasonal presents, they're $350 for twenty. If you
put the squeeze on her she might sell you fewer in your first order
but that's not my call. firstname.lastname@example.org
is her addy.
I've always dreamt of being a guerrilla marketer!
my announcement won't push back the human wave of Monarch-programmed
sociopaths this week I'll ask for help in the chatroom to get the
feds off our backs.