Jennifer Love Hewitt
After
"Love Hewitt Admits to Smile Enlargement Surgery
Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt, best known for her portrayal of "Sarah" on "Party
of Five," admitted Monday that she had resorted to smile enlargement surgery in
an attempt to improve on her already considerably "perky" image. Hewitt held a
press conference to break the startling news that she suffers from oralimia
nervosa, known inside the Hollywood medical establishment as "Joker Envy." The
disorder causes its victim to believe that her smile is abnormally small.
Victims often express a desire to posess a smile so gapingly huge that they
could theoretically consume their own head.
Love would sit in front of the mirror for hours smiling as big
as she could," said buddy Neve Campbell. "Sometimes, she would achieve what she
called 'half-moon.' She would have been at it for like 45 minutes, smiling so
big that her nose was running and her eyes were all bloodshot, and she'd look at
you triumphantly and say, 'ook! ook! alf oon! alf oon!' It was utterly
disturbing."
The daily smile exercise wasn't enough, though, admitted Hewitt, and she
subjected herself to surgery. Doctors widened her smile and used nerve-deadening
Botox treatments and complicated techniques of facial traction.
"I guess I'm happy with it," beamed Hewitt. "The doctors say I shouldn't have
any more smile therapy because I might end up sucking the entire universe into
my head with my freakishly large smile, or, at the very least, I might just
become a gigantic, oafish grin with boobs and legs. I wouldn't mind that but my
agent is warning me against it."
Hewitt said she had also looked into the idea of having little glittery lights
installed into her eyeballs, thereby giving her more glow about the eyes and
adding to her overall perkiness. Doctors declined to perform the surgery not
because of its more generalized dangers, but because her freakishly large yaw of
a grin would get in the way of such a procedure."
Interesting and strange at the same time, her wiki bio (and her others) dont
mention this "oralimia nervosa" thing. But I guess they need "serious" excuses
when smb is replaced.