Gorebridge Alien Base

TAKING THE GORE OUT OF GOREBRIDGE

by Andrew Hennessey

 The recent escalation of alien activity at Gorebridge near Edinburgh, Scotland’s capital city has taken, for me, a familiar format.

Our alien invaders do rather know how to ‘mix it’ using all the aberrant archetypes in the human pantheon.

Mind you – if you could walk at 50 miles per hour and could shapeshift into absolutely anybody whilst kicking the fortune cookies out of Bruce Lee – then it is surely no surprise that aliens want to party right in the middle of a UFO hotspot.

Previously reported and filmed, our space brothers dropping off a carry out in the local woods, and then aliens flying some machine that looked like a helicopter at ground level through this small town.

These guys do know how to throw a party.

Indeed our cameraman did film a UFO over a house then the upstairs bedroom had two floating silvery lights in it. We suspect though that that was just a couple of his neighbours returning from a night out at the Lunar Hilton. Elsewhere in the neighbourhood people are reporting strange howls in the night air, unusual silences for the countryside and a UFO has been filmed buzzing a car on the local main road that runs past the woods. It followed the car up the A7 from the village of Newtongrange to the woods at Gore Glen. This on film.

 Imagine my lack of surprise therefore to hear that the cameraman had on film some kind of bounced furrowed track marks in a local field that terminated in a large round area of flattened crop and soil.

Going back to investigate though, there was this huge bonfire and party going on that looked rather strange whilst in the night air hung the stench of rotting carcasses.

A local Deer mutilation had recently left locals wondering how the big beast had ‘got up there’.

 So our two investigators didn’t immediately approach the area to see if some parked UFO had switched on its cloaking device.

The camerman returned the next day to investigate the UFO parking lot and to his surprise there was an obvious witch in black and red conducting some weird ritual right in the area he was about to investigate.

Realising that this was starting to look like a cross between Predator meets the Wicca Man he backed off.

Filming from a distance he also filmed a very square looking angular piece of cloud over that area. I looked at it and thought … it did look square and had a geometrical centre piece symmetrically in the middle.

The cameraman filmed the Dumfries and Galloway ship and other easy to recognise  high definition UFOs – but I must admit whatever was going on there wasn’t too obvious.

I’ve seen another square alien ship generate cloud myself and we actually have a great clear photo of that where it turned up at Gorebridge.

 One thing was for sure though the strong stench of rotting meat in the air has been ever present for a couple of weeks out there near Catcune.

Its also strange that at the height of all this bizarre activity, the local farmer has moved two dairy herds into the adjacent fields around this strange site.

How co-operative is that ?

Meantime though the flattened vegetation and the furrows ploughed by the landing ship have mysteriously disappeared.

Myself, I’m well aware that these beings have control over the structure of vegetation and can regrow plants overnight.

I’ve personally seen them make like an octopus with big tree roots.

Next up another local complains that he saw some weird lady in a green ballgown drifting over the field where all this activity has been taking place.

At this point I’m contacted by the local citizen intelligence officer responsible for the issuance of AntiSocialBehaviourOrders wishing to evaluate my journalism in a .gov.uk context.

I can deduce from that that whatever is going on there that is alien is ENDORSED by our government.

That may be culling some Old Deer, Dairy herds or indeed as it is approaching the summer solstice and full moon it may be that some other more sick activity may be taking place in aptly named Gore Glen.

I’ve been approached in the usual way by government types and to quote one of them .. ‘You can’t tell the people ..’ (mate)

Well its obvious that if this guy dares to win down at Gore Glen he would discover what Thatcher in all her pride did not know or had not the IQ to guess … The People Already Know !!!