Soon you'll be immobilized in a stereotaxic device, so tightly that you can't move your head even by a hairbreath, maybe two steel rods will be inserted into the enucleated orbits of your eyes, and two clamps will press your ears so hard that your eardrums might burst - but don't worry if that happens, because its not going to influence the result of the experiment one bit, according to the catalogues of the manufacturers, Lab-Tronics and H. Neumann and Co., near Chicago, who ship such torture instruments to laboratories the world over.  What counts is to keep you absolutely still, while the real action gets underway.

And of course the chemistry boys keep repeating it too, the manufacturers of products that are poisoning the earth and killing people by the millions, the governments and politicians on their payroll, the faculty professors and presidents of universities, the mediamakers who earn a lush living not from reflecting public opinion but shaping it, and even heads of the big animal welfare societies like the RSPCA and WSPA and Eurogroup and HSUS et al who instead of widely advertising the evident, huge damage that accrues daily to mankind through its erroneous method of medical research, deliberately hide this fact in smokescreens of inane, philosophical babble - as the research community wants them to do, under the pretext that humanity has to be 'saved', and that only the sacrifice of you and your kind can do that.

Of course, stupid little kitten, by the time you are clamped down in one of the stereotaxic contraptions, you've probably come to the conclusion that humanity can't be all that it's cracked up to be, and darn right you are.  In fact, man is the only animal capable of killing his own offspring because it disturbs him in his sleep.  He is also the only male that beats the female, although some wags will argue that woman is the only female that deserves to be beaten.  And man is the only animal that murders all known species including his own, far beyond the necessity of survival, relentlessly fouls, erodes and scars his habitat to the point of inability, and yet considers himself - just because he can spread more death and mayhem than all the others combined - the most intelligent of all species, and the only one that deserves to survive.

What do you expect from such a species, stupid little kitten?  But maybe you just want to know why it's always your kind that is being used for the most painful, long-lasting experiments that exist.  That's because it's your misfortune that you were born with an extremely sensitive nervous system, far more sensitive than that of your tormentors, but at the same time you are more resistant than most other animals are.  That's why.

But don't cry out when it hurts, stupid.  If you do, 'they' will cut your vocal cords, because 'they' are tender-hearted and can't stand animals' cries.  In fact, many are not only great philanthropists, but also real animal lovers, who say that they suffer more than you do from the pains they have to inflict on you out of sheer philanthropy.

And now good-bye, stupid little kitten.  May you be dead before the Christmas festivities begin, because in those days you risk to remain for days even without water, immobilised in your device.  But don't count on it, because vivisectors like Prof. Konrad Akert, top dog at Zurich University, and Prof. W.D.M. Paton of Oxford - Sir William, knighted by her Gracious Majesty the Queen for his relentless work on cats' brains - and their colleagues have performed these experiments so incredibly often, with idiotic repetitiveness, that they have become quite proficient at prolonging the agony, even if not one of them has ever been able to name us a single patient they have cured of anything; whereas we can name any number of people who have been ruined for life, and even to death, by their obtuse, counterproductive method of pseudo-research.

But maybe you can get some kind of cold comfort from the following thought, poor little cat.  Just think: from a stupid little head like yours, big men like Sir William Paton - a Professor at Oxford University, knighted by the Queen! - actually hope to find out some day what to do about their own defective brains and the big black hole in them, which worry them so much that brain experiments have become a lifelong obsession with them.